The cyclopes lived a somewhat simple life. They all lived on an island with hardly any interruptions from the outside world. They had everything they could ever want on the island. There was plenty of rich land where food could be grown. There was an abundance of livestock that could be used for many different purposes. And there were enough caves for the cyclopes to each have their own home. While they were not very smart the cyclopes still managed to have a successful society.
Their society was, just like the cyclopes themselves, a simple one. In the mornings each cyclops would tend to his or her personal flock herding them to different grazing areas to make sure they never made the land barren. Then they would tend to their fields and harvest the crop that the gods had blessed them with. As evening came around they would return to their caves with their flock, because the cyclops had a hard time seeing out of their one eye as the sun was setting. Once back at their caves they would eat supper and go sleep. They did this same thing every day of the week. The only exception was on Friday nights.
On Friday night all the cyclopes would gather together in the middle of their island and they would have a celebration. At the celebration they would dance, sing, and share the good that they had harvested that week. While this was going on, the children were all left with the elder of the island. The elder would tell them stories of past cyclopes so they could learn about their history. Most of the little cyclopes did not care for story time but there was one story that all the cyclopes loved. It was called the story of the psychotic cyclops and it went like this.
There was once a cyclops named Polyphemus. He was one of the greatest cyclopes to ever live. He had the largest flock out of all the cyclopes . Not only did he have the largest flock but he could command them with ease. He was the biggest of all the cyclopes and because of this he had the largest club made from one of the oldest trees on the island. He was known as the king of the cyclopes until one day the gods cursed him and drove him mad. It was right after supper time and right before bed time that the madness struck. All the island was quiet, as they were all about to rest, and then a loud scream burst from Polyphemu's cave. This was unsettling to the other cyclopes so they made their way to his cave. When they arrived they heard more screaming and yelling erupt from his cave. They asked Polyphemus "Is some one attacking you?"
" Nobody is attacking me," Polyphemus responded.
"If Nobody is attacking you then you must be going mad and only the gods can help that," shouted the cyclopes and they left Polyphemus. The shouting and yelling continued all night.
In the morning Polyphemus rolled the large bolder from the entrance of his cave and staggered out. "See!" he yelled. "See what Nobody has done to me?" and then he fell dead on the ground. As the other cyclopes emerged from their caves they could see what Nobody had done to him. Polyphemus's body was lying dead on the ground with his large club stabbed through his eye.
To this day no one know what truly happened in that cave. Some say that he went mad and killed himself, while others think there may have been somebody in the cave with him, but no one knows for sure.
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| Painting of Polyphemus By: Guido Reni. Found on Wikimedia |
Author's Note: This story is based off of Odysseus's encounter with the the cyclops Polyphemus. In the original story Odysseus and his men end up as prisoners of Polyphemus. Odysseus tricks Polyphemus into thinking that his real name is Nobody so that when the other cyclopes ask if he is being attacked he will say that Nobody is attacking him and the other cyclopes will leave. I thought it would be fun to retell this story from an outsider's point of view so they they could only speculate about what really happened in the cave and I also wanted to give it a ghost story kind of a feel. I did this by making the story into a tale that was told by the cyclopes to each other. I also wanted to give a little background information on the Cyclopes so I wove the original story together with one that I made up about their background. I also thought it would be an interesting twist to have him die in the end so that way no one could ever know what happened in the cave. In my last story it was pointed out to me that my dialog should be formatted differently so in this story I tried to work on that.
The story can be found in the Un-Textbook
source: Homer's Odyssey
translated into English by Tony Kline. (2004).
Wow! Way to put a twist on this story! I am very impressed. I vaguely remember reading the original story in high school, so reading your twist on it made me think really hard as to what was your view and what was real. Overall though, I am very impressed with your genuine creativity. I look forward to reading more of your stories later in the semester!
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ReplyDeleteHi there, Nick! I like that you decided to write this story from an outsider's point of view. I I agree that it gave the story a "ghost feel" since it makes it more mysterious because you don't really know what happened in the real story, other than the outsider's observations or speculations. I also like that you added tidbits here and there. Like Molly mentioned before me, it does make the reader question which part was the original story and which part was the outsider's point of view. It was a great retelling! Maybe some things you could look out for are some typos and more punctuation here or there. I know it's hard to read your own writing, but what I do to try to minimize errors is to write the story and then take a break from it, then come back to reread it! Just some tips for you! :) I look forward to your future work.
ReplyDeleteI think the piece was interesting as it brought to life a side of the cyclopes life that isn't explored in the mythology while also giving a look at how the story known to us might look from their perspective (including the fact that the other cyclopes would never really know for sure that there were other little people involved! Nice job coming up with their answer!).
ReplyDeleteI like how you added this perspective to the original story. It showed how the cyclops were and what their lives were like. They seem caring and living life to the fullest kind of characters. The elderly cyclops telling the story of Polyphemus to the children was a nice way to show what happened to Polyphemus even though no one truly knows what happened. That part did add a ghost feel to the story as everyone was speculating without knowing what really happened.
ReplyDeleteThe story flowed really well with nice use of spacing and font. The added characters brought out another dimension to the story. The word choice were very good too.
One suggestion that I would make is not about the style or anything, it would be to double check over the writing after you are done as there were some spelling mistakes. I have the same problem, but I think I cut down on mine after double checking over what I have written. Everything looks good otherwise, including links and paragraph transitions.
It was really fun reading this point of view. Great job!
Overall this was an interesting take on the story. I think the biggest problem with your retelling was all the spelling and grammatical errors. It doesn’t seem like you read this at all before you posted it. I also think you could have developed this idea a lot better. It didn’t have a smooth transition from the life of the Cyclopes to the story of the crazy one. It was an abrupt switch in plot and didn’t develop very well. For future stories the biggest thing I could suggest to you is revising your story! Simple revisions make a world of difference in storytelling. When a piece is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors the reader begins to focus on that more than the story itself! Overall you had an interesting idea on this retelling it just lacked some development. Keep using your creativity on future storytelling’s though you have a lot of potential!
ReplyDeleteWow what a plot twist! I recognized the name of the cyclops when I first read the name but I couldn't quite remember the original story. I liked how you changed the story but still kept to the original theme! It was really fun to read!
ReplyDeleteHi Nick,
ReplyDeleteThis story took me by surprise. I was not expecting the story to share the Cyclops side of the story. It was really creative of you to do that. You did a really good job of sticking to the theme of the original story, but creating your own twist to it. Good job! I look forward to reading more of your works.
Hey Nick! I enjoyed reading your story this week. You did a great job a picking a title because I was immediately interested in reading the story. I think my favorite part was imagining the elder telling the cyclops children stories. That was a very strong point in your story. I was a little confused by the picture you used because the man in it has two eyes. I think you did a good job describing your process of writing in your author's note. I also think that the paragraph formatting made the story very easy to read. I only have a couple of suggestions for edits. In the first sentence you need to delete one of the "a"'s. In the third paragraph the first word needs to capitalized. Overall, I think you did a great job and I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Nick,
ReplyDeleteI'm back again. I really liked your story this week. The title really sucked me into the story. Anything involving a cyclops is pretty awesome! Your story flow was nice and everything really came together to tell a great story. The only thing I would say is space out your paragraphs more, it makes it easier to read on my computer. Also I would add more dialogue. I want to know what the characters and saying, thinking, and feeling. A writer can never add too much dialogue in my opinion. Great job!
This story was different to me because the cyclops actually shared its story. I enjoyed how you changed up the story from the original. The direct quotes added to the story. The author's note was detailed enough to where I didn't have to read the original story. Good job!
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