When I saw the extra credit assignment to comment on people's blog design and layout, I immediately came here to comment on your wall as I really liked it when we were in groups last week. The background is really cool. The labels and the title colors are clearly visible even though there is a blue background picture, so great job for that. I really like your design and layout as it shows you spent some time on it.
Hi Nick! Wow, I love your blog layout! The background being stellar constellations and such is a different but awesome choice! The blue font on the right hang side also goes along with the theme of your blog well. You can tell that you put thought into it. Good job!
The God Game. Nice Storybook title. Instantly intrigued and wanted to know more. I notice one grammatical error on the 4th and 5th line in the sentence "This was long before people where around," just change where to were. I do little mistakes like this all the time especially when typing fast and Laura hounds me for them haha. I did a story featuring Ra as well so I thought that was dope. He is a cool God. What a dope concept though, I can't get over it. Will definitely be checking back. My portfolio is of warriors so this is right up my alley. I vote Ra. Zeus is cool to but a god with a Falcon head is just on a whole other level. Odin I don't know too much about and I am already heavily biased with Greek Roman Egyptian gods and mythology so boo hoo for him he can take the L. But in the end it is your story and you are the God of it haha. See what I did there. Maybe you could have three or four alternate endings?! Just an idea. But good job man. Keep up the good work.
What a nice start to your site Nick! The title is cool and it instantly tells the reader what the stories will be about. I really like your theme from the Hunger Games. It will be very interesting to read the actual stories. I didn't notice any other error other than the one Michael pointed out. But some little things: the word "reign" being in a different font in the second paragraph and also a space is missing between paragraph two and three.
Coverpage looks great as it shows one of the contestant of the God Game. Maybe you can change the background by adding a hunger game black and white theme or something. The introduction is very well written and it leads to the actual stories very nicely. The style you used is very intriguing also: sending a invitation to the readers and appealing them to vote. That was very cool.
Overall, I really liked your storybook. Can't wait to read the stories.
Hi Nick! Wow, I love the game concept/frame for your story. This feels like a fun read because it'll be like little email updates about the "game" instead of 3rd person accounts of what is happening. I take it that you're going to write it in a "game announcer" style, perhaps? :D
I liked the way you set up the design of your google site. I was surprised when I got on the landing page because it didn't look like any of the other ones. I also like that it is all white so that the introduction looks like an email update.
One thing I would like to suggest is maybe a picture for the first page that would give more hints as to what the storybook is about? I wasn't sure what the story was since all I saw was Ra on the first page.
Other than that, I am really looking forward to reading the rest of your storybook! Great job thus far!
On first impression, your blog was very simplistic, but I think that it is actually a good fit with the topic of your storybook. Your picture choice of Ra really set the mood for the rest of your storybook and made it very obvious what the book would be about. As for your introduction, I really like what you are going for with your story but there were a few errors just grammatically and spacing wise. Another read through it, will probably be good enough. Just make sure to check the commas and your indentations. Stuff like that. Also I think it would be beneficial to center your images of the gods on the introduction page. You could probably make them a little bit bigger. But overall, I really like your concept of the gods coinciding together, as well as talking about how the gods differ from region to region around the world. Very interesting! I hope the rest of your storybook goes well!
What a turn of events! I liked your introduction. I am not interested in Greek mythology as much as I am other subjects like American History. However, your introduction managed to spark my interest so I applaud you on that.
I think instead of using Dear Reader, I would use Dear Pantheon, or something along those lines. I feel like I was a little confused by the dear reader and a bit skeptical at first.
I also think you should choose if you are going to capitalize God or not. I see some places where it is and others it was not.
A format issue would be to make more spaces between your paragraphs. I struggle with this myself, but it really does help the reader out and make it easier to read.
I think you could also make your pictures bigger. I think this would really emphasize how big the God’s are and what the Pantheon is up against.
Other than that I think you have a solid introduction. Good Luck!
First let me say I love the idea! I would totally read or watch this if it ever were available.
I have a few suggestions. In the beginning, you talk about how there are multiple gods.Next, you emphasize a sentence later about there being more than one god by saying "Notice that I did not say god but I said gods." It just seems repetitive. If you are worried that the point didn't come across by then, do not. You have done a great job setting the scene already.
Also, I would check the whole introduction for comma usage, word placement, and repeated words in sentences.
My last suggestion is how can you make the viewer involved now that you've made them, the reader, part of the audience now? I love what you did there! I'm just trying to offer something that might make the stories interactive?
Good work all around and I look forward to seeing what you write next!
I was really excited about your introduction when I read it a few days ago, so I had hoped you’d have a story up for me to read and comment on by tonight. I hope everything’s going well.
The picture of Ra on the title page is cool, but some context would probably help to get the reader into the right mindset for what they’re about to read in your intro.
I really love your idea! I think it’s really neat and clever and fun. There are some formatting issues on your introduction; also breaking up that first paragraph would help the reader a lot. Being confronted by a huge block of text is a bit daunting. Also the flow of it is odd – you lead the reader into thinking that one thing is going on, but it’s really something else. Maybe move the “The reason you are receiving this email” to the beginning – just to kinda help set the tone and to hint at what the plot behind your storybook is.
I hope you continue to work on this and I can’t wait to see what the final project will be!
Hey Nick, I really like your idea it something that is really creative in the sense of having all the gods battle each other for to be the supreme god. The picture of Ra is a good way start off the mood for your storybook so I really like that. The topic something I would totally be down to read. As stated before you got a little repetitive about the story being about many gods so you a good read through on your introduction would help a lot. I know it helps me a lot because I tend to get repetitive as well. As for the story I vote for Zeus because I mean he seems like the type of god who would be the supreme god right? Anyways, good job on your ideas for a storybook! I’m excited to read more about it and to see which god wins.
So, I chose to read your storybook because the “God Game” had a lot of potential. I was not sure if I was getting into some strange game show between the higher powers or if it was the tales of great war stories involving the gods. Anyways, after reading the introduction, I was not disappointed. I felt really special as someone receiving a direct email from the God Game Committee. I kind of imagined a hunger games type story for this project. Or maybe more like a ninja warrior challenge because each god is trying to prove themselves. Anyways, I am looking forward to the first story! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but I decided to see if there was anything worth reading in this class, and lucky you was worth reading! Congrats! But really, good job on the writing. I don’t see any mistakes that jump out at me and your writing style pulled me in and kept me wanting to find out the next part.
Hi Nick! First of all, the picture on your front page really caught my attention. I love the colors incorporated on it and it has such a presence that grabs the reader's attention.
I like how the introduction is a letter to the reader. It makes it feel more personal, like the story wants to bring us in. There are a couple typos in your introduction. First, "yourself" is one word, not two. You also started a sentence with uncapitalized "people". I like how you presented picture of the contestants- that was really creative! Now, I'm more likely to read on as the reader because you gave me a little taste of what to expect. I'm kind of confused about the setting of you story and what era we are in. When I think about gods, I think about the past, not today. You said the reader received an email so obviously you have that set in today's world or even the future. It would make more sense if you elaborate on the time table of this story! Awesome job though!
Nick, I have kept up with your posts quite a bit this semester because I appreciate your creativity. I feel like all of your stories are extremely creative and imaginative. I am almost jealous of your imagination as I read your stories! I wish I could come up with some of the ideas that you do! I hope you have enjoyed the class and good luck on your next adventures!
When I saw the extra credit assignment to comment on people's blog design and layout, I immediately came here to comment on your wall as I really liked it when we were in groups last week. The background is really cool. The labels and the title colors are clearly visible even though there is a blue background picture, so great job for that. I really like your design and layout as it shows you spent some time on it.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! Wow, I love your blog layout! The background being stellar constellations and such is a different but awesome choice! The blue font on the right hang side also goes along with the theme of your blog well. You can tell that you put thought into it. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe God Game. Nice Storybook title. Instantly intrigued and wanted to know more. I notice one grammatical error on the 4th and 5th line in the sentence "This was long before people where around," just change where to were. I do little mistakes like this all the time especially when typing fast and Laura hounds me for them haha. I did a story featuring Ra as well so I thought that was dope. He is a cool God. What a dope concept though, I can't get over it. Will definitely be checking back. My portfolio is of warriors so this is right up my alley. I vote Ra. Zeus is cool to but a god with a Falcon head is just on a whole other level. Odin I don't know too much about and I am already heavily biased with Greek Roman Egyptian gods and mythology so boo hoo for him he can take the L. But in the end it is your story and you are the God of it haha. See what I did there. Maybe you could have three or four alternate endings?! Just an idea. But good job man. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice start to your site Nick! The title is cool and it instantly tells the reader what the stories will be about. I really like your theme from the Hunger Games. It will be very interesting to read the actual stories. I didn't notice any other error other than the one Michael pointed out. But some little things: the word "reign" being in a different font in the second paragraph and also a space is missing between paragraph two and three.
ReplyDeleteCoverpage looks great as it shows one of the contestant of the God Game. Maybe you can change the background by adding a hunger game black and white theme or something. The introduction is very well written and it leads to the actual stories very nicely. The style you used is very intriguing also: sending a invitation to the readers and appealing them to vote. That was very cool.
Overall, I really liked your storybook. Can't wait to read the stories.
Hi Nick! Wow, I love the game concept/frame for your story. This feels like a fun read because it'll be like little email updates about the "game" instead of 3rd person accounts of what is happening. I take it that you're going to write it in a "game announcer" style, perhaps? :D
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you set up the design of your google site. I was surprised when I got on the landing page because it didn't look like any of the other ones. I also like that it is all white so that the introduction looks like an email update.
One thing I would like to suggest is maybe a picture for the first page that would give more hints as to what the storybook is about? I wasn't sure what the story was since all I saw was Ra on the first page.
Other than that, I am really looking forward to reading the rest of your storybook! Great job thus far!
On first impression, your blog was very simplistic, but I think that it is actually a good fit with the topic of your storybook. Your picture choice of Ra really set the mood for the rest of your storybook and made it very obvious what the book would be about. As for your introduction, I really like what you are going for with your story but there were a few errors just grammatically and spacing wise. Another read through it, will probably be good enough. Just make sure to check the commas and your indentations. Stuff like that. Also I think it would be beneficial to center your images of the gods on the introduction page. You could probably make them a little bit bigger. But overall, I really like your concept of the gods coinciding together, as well as talking about how the gods differ from region to region around the world. Very interesting! I hope the rest of your storybook goes well!
ReplyDeleteWhat a turn of events! I liked your introduction. I am not interested in Greek mythology as much as I am other subjects like American History. However, your introduction managed to spark my interest so I applaud you on that.
ReplyDeleteI think instead of using Dear Reader, I would use Dear Pantheon, or something along those lines. I feel like I was a little confused by the dear reader and a bit skeptical at first.
I also think you should choose if you are going to capitalize God or not. I see some places where it is and others it was not.
A format issue would be to make more spaces between your paragraphs. I struggle with this myself, but it really does help the reader out and make it easier to read.
I think you could also make your pictures bigger. I think this would really emphasize how big the God’s are and what the Pantheon is up against.
Other than that I think you have a solid introduction.
Good Luck!
First let me say I love the idea! I would totally read or watch this if it ever were available.
ReplyDeleteI have a few suggestions. In the beginning, you talk about how there are multiple gods.Next, you emphasize a sentence later about there being more than one god by saying "Notice that I did not say god but I said gods." It just seems repetitive. If you are worried that the point didn't come across by then, do not. You have done a great job setting the scene already.
Also, I would check the whole introduction for comma usage, word placement, and repeated words in sentences.
My last suggestion is how can you make the viewer involved now that you've made them, the reader, part of the audience now? I love what you did there! I'm just trying to offer something that might make the stories interactive?
Good work all around and I look forward to seeing what you write next!
Hey, Nick,
ReplyDeleteI was really excited about your introduction when I read it a few days ago, so I had hoped you’d have a story up for me to read and comment on by tonight. I hope everything’s going well.
The picture of Ra on the title page is cool, but some context would probably help to get the reader into the right mindset for what they’re about to read in your intro.
I really love your idea! I think it’s really neat and clever and fun. There are some formatting issues on your introduction; also breaking up that first paragraph would help the reader a lot. Being confronted by a huge block of text is a bit daunting. Also the flow of it is odd – you lead the reader into thinking that one thing is going on, but it’s really something else. Maybe move the “The reason you are receiving this email” to the beginning – just to kinda help set the tone and to hint at what the plot behind your storybook is.
I hope you continue to work on this and I can’t wait to see what the final project will be!
Hey Nick, I really like your idea it something that is really creative in the sense of having all the gods battle each other for to be the supreme god. The picture of Ra is a good way start off the mood for your storybook so I really like that. The topic something I would totally be down to read. As stated before you got a little repetitive about the story being about many gods so you a good read through on your introduction would help a lot. I know it helps me a lot because I tend to get repetitive as well. As for the story I vote for Zeus because I mean he seems like the type of god who would be the supreme god right? Anyways, good job on your ideas for a storybook! I’m excited to read more about it and to see which god wins.
ReplyDeleteSo, I chose to read your storybook because the “God Game” had a lot of potential. I was not sure if I was getting into some strange game show between the higher powers or if it was the tales of great war stories involving the gods. Anyways, after reading the introduction, I was not disappointed. I felt really special as someone receiving a direct email from the God Game Committee. I kind of imagined a hunger games type story for this project. Or maybe more like a ninja warrior challenge because each god is trying to prove themselves. Anyways, I am looking forward to the first story! I am actually in the Indian Epics class, but I decided to see if there was anything worth reading in this class, and lucky you was worth reading! Congrats! But really, good job on the writing. I don’t see any mistakes that jump out at me and your writing style pulled me in and kept me wanting to find out the next part.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! First of all, the picture on your front page really caught my attention. I love the colors incorporated on it and it has such a presence that grabs the reader's attention.
ReplyDeleteI like how the introduction is a letter to the reader. It makes it feel more personal, like the story wants to bring us in. There are a couple typos in your introduction. First, "yourself" is one word, not two. You also started a sentence with uncapitalized "people". I like how you presented picture of the contestants- that was really creative! Now, I'm more likely to read on as the reader because you gave me a little taste of what to expect. I'm kind of confused about the setting of you story and what era we are in. When I think about gods, I think about the past, not today. You said the reader received an email so obviously you have that set in today's world or even the future. It would make more sense if you elaborate on the time table of this story! Awesome job though!
Nick, I have kept up with your posts quite a bit this semester because I appreciate your creativity. I feel like all of your stories are extremely creative and imaginative. I am almost jealous of your imagination as I read your stories! I wish I could come up with some of the ideas that you do! I hope you have enjoyed the class and good luck on your next adventures!
ReplyDelete